Manni, Daddaddy and Emlaerley

Graham saw some of his favorite people this weekend and had an amazing time with them. One of the memories captured in photos is Graham being awoken from a nap by Granna, who he now calls "Manni" or "Manna":


































And I nearly forgot a wonderful one: Graham "sharing" a corn on the cob with Aunti Em:
















Thank you so much Brandons for spending the weekend with all of us.

I was just watching this video clip I'd recorded of Graham earlier in the day, one in which he is throwing a wet pair of his shorts (from an impromptu swimming adventure) at Kate and I and laughing and laughing when it hits us, and part way through his gales of joy I had to stop watching it.

The intensity of emotion that stuck me while thinking about what a wonder and magical delight this boy is, the sweetness of him, that toe to head tension of his little body when he is hugging me with all his might, overwhelmed me, and the thought of him feeling any pain, or not feeling loved, or feeling lonely--all these human things--was so painful. Too painful.

It's hard to be a parent, even this early, because of the fact that you can't always be quick with a band-aid, and realizing that someday when you snuggle him tight as his eyes brim with tears that love just won't fix it, whatever "it" will be.

It's hard to realize that from the second Graham was born, eyes open to the world, he was ebbing ever so slowly, but relentlessly, away from me. Into his own family, into his own life, out of the fullness of my arms someday, into this world so full of the chaos and confusion of being human...

To think that I will someday lose these days, this particular moment of Graham's life, is heart breaking.

But the amazing thing is that I find I somehow enjoy him even more the next day, and that delight is not a finite thing when it comes to loving my son; that I can somehow love this small man with even more of a full heart tomorrow, and the next day...

and the next.